Week #16 – Reverend Richard Coles – Murder Before Evensong

We all know that book descriptions are vital part of book sales, and one of the biggest pains on an indie author’s to-do list.

I’m on a myth-busting mission impossible to breakdown the elements of bestselling blurbs so that you can use the techniques to write your own best selling blurbs…and make it a lot less painful in the process.

Heck, I’m gonna go so far as to say that I actually want you to start enjoying writing the bleddie things…

Because you’ll have a handy bag ‘o’ tricks to refer to, grab inspiration from, and stop using the spaghetti-thrown-at-the-wall approach.

Here’s how these weekly blurb breakdowns are gonna go down…

Every week I’ll take a best selling book off the digital shelves of Amazon’s top 100 in a given category… and I’ll break it down, sentence by sentence, so you can see the techniques and strategies at play.

Then, you can use those techniques to strengthen or create your own best selling book description.

If you come across an awesome book description out in the wilderness, and you want me to break it down, I’m more than happy to do it. The catch is, it can’t be for one of your own books.

Just email me with the Amazon link and tell me what you liked about it – if it made you want to buy it, or if you bought it.

Right, so them’s the rules, let’s dive in…

This weeks blurb breakdown is Reverend Richard Coles’, Murder Before Evensong. At the time of writing it was No. 93 in the Amazon UK’ bestselling book charts.

Here’s the blurb…

A screenshot of the Reverend Richard Coles Amazon sales page for Murder Before Evensong
Here’s the Amazon link for a closer look

The breakdown…

Opening hook: THE INSTANTLY ICONIC NO. 1 BESTSELLER

This is a classic opener from a trad pub’d book. ‘Iconic’ isn’t really a word you see used in book publishing, so it sticks out – in a good way – and the no 1 bestseller is an obvious use of social proof. It’s really simple, yet it doesn’t tell you anything about the storyline, it just establishes authority.

‘Devotees of Midsomer Murders and Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple stories will feel most at home here’ Guardian

‘I’ve been waiting for a novel with vicars, rude old ladies, murder and sausage dogs… et voila!’ Dawn French

‘Cosy crime with a cutting edge’ Telegraph

‘Whodunnit fans can give praise and rejoice’ Ian Rankin

‘Charming and funny’ Observer

Even better than I knew it would be’ India Knight

‘Quintessentially English’ Sunday Express

‘An absolute joy’ Adam Kay

‘’Wry, tongue-in cheek and whimsical’ Daily Mail

‘Glorious’ Robert Webb

‘Beautifully written, charming, funny, intelligent and mordant tooSunday Times

‘Pitch perfect’ Philip Pullman

‘A cunning whodunnit’ Daily Express

Right, I’m not going to run through all of these individually. It follows a structure, though. The first one gives readers a handy comparison so they nope outta there lickety split if it’s not their genre. The second quote reveals the characters and gives a sense of humour. Then we have a whole bunch telling you about the type of experience you’ll be getting. All polished off with a nod towards the author’s skill. They’ve stacked these reviews to build curiosity while signalling genre, and building the social proof. It frames the type of story it is and moves on to the blurb proper. 

Side note: There’s a distinct lack of commas after the closing quotes, and not a full stop in sight. Now, unless they got the apprentice to copy and paste this bit, I’m guessing this is by design. I’m going to assume it’s purposeful to keep the copy uncluttered and cleaner looking. White space is easier on the eye.

Canon Daniel Clement is Rector of Champton, where he lives alongside his widowed mother – opinionated, fearless, ever-so-slightly annoying Audrey – and his two dachshunds, Cosmo and Hilda.

Ooof – ok, this first sentence is dense with info. We’ve got his job, his name, his place of work, where he live, who he lives with, his father is dead, his mother is annoying (among other things), and his two dogs and their names? How bits of info is that? I dunno… I’ve lost count. 

For an opening line, this is long. It’s a bold move. But I think it works here because a) it’s probably had a fair bit of press thrown at it, so buyers have a higher awareness level before arriving at the Amazon sales page, and b) the social proof preamble above serves to build desire. Both of which lead to greater interest and increased buyer intent – or increased attention span. 

When Daniel announces a plan to install a lavatory in the church, the parish is suddenly (and unexpectedly) divided: as lines are drawn, long-buried secrets come dangerously close to destroying the apparent calm of the village.

This sentence, although long, is the crux of the plot. The fact that the story is sparked by a toilet adds a certain amount of lightheartedness to it. It offers a couple of open loops: why is the parish so divided? What are these long-buried secrets? What can be so bad as to ‘destroy’ a calm village?

And then Anthony Bowness – cousin to Bernard de Floures, patron of Champton – is found dead at the back of the church. As the police moves in and the bodies start piling up, Daniel is the only one who can try and keep his community together… and catch a killer.

Now we dive head first into setting up the ‘why it matters’ and raising the steaks. We’re a bit name dense again here: Anthony Bowness, Benard de Floures, and a repeat of Champton, but now we know there’s a death. And there’s more to come by the sounds of it. Despite all the name drops, Daniel’s part in it is kept central. The blurb opens with him and it closes with what the stakes are for him, and what his challenge is. 

We’re often told to keep sentences short, but here, in the main body copy at least, we have the opposite. The social proof is kept short and snappy, which allows them to move towards a longer sentence structure for the description. 

The use of emboldening the character names to highlight them in the copy is interesting. It’s the first time I’ve spotted this tactic in a blurb.

What do you think?

Have you got any questions about it?

Want to suggest a book description to breakdown?

Either comment below or shoot me an email.

And of course, you can always join my email list for deeper copywriting insights.

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